Chapter 17:

     Martha was beginning to think she might never reach her destination. Even though the trip to the Luthor mansion was a short one, exhaustion was taking a toll on her stamina. She had been running on adrenaline from the moment she saw Jonathan carrying Audrey's lifeless body towards their house, moving nonstop despite how useless any immediately action might've been. Yet, she knew there were so many things to take care of, so many things to settle. Countless hours had slipped by, and she was still going as though trapped in a fog, unable to focus on anything but that which had to be done.

     The rain soaked asphalt shimmers like diamonds illuminated by the ornate lanterns outside the gate of the Luthor mansion. The steady shower comes down in sheets, creating a calming, almost hypnotic rhythm as it hits against the glass windshield and is quickly swished away by the movement of the wipers. Thick clouds hang low in the night sky blotting out the tiny stars that usually reside there. Martha peers through the windshield, almost haunted by the darkness. The low hanging clouds eerily remind her of the shadow looming over her. If only she could look out and see a beautiful sunset. God's artistic genius, a palette of unparalleled beauty that seemed to promise a happy end to each day it took with it. How many sunsets she had gazed upon never thinking she would take them for granted, but now she realized she somehow had. She would give anything to hang on to the sun that seemed to set too soon this day. For the darkness this night was almost too much to bear.

     Martha drives the truck through the opened gate, pulling up close to the large double door entrance. Her late night visit to the house thankfully did not startle anyone. By the looks of things from the window Lex was still awake.

     She had thought it best to make this visit alone, but now sitting in the driveway she was finding it difficult to even climb out of the car. How she wished she had the luxury to save these moments, knowing that once her words were spoken they would forever change the future, forever changing Lex's path. Yet no matter how much time she fought to keep, it only served to postpone the inevitable, prolonging that which she had come to do.

     Summoning up the strength from deep within, she reaches over to the passenger's seat, grabbing up the already soaked umbrella laying in a puddle on the vinyl truck seat. Taking in a quick breath she pops the door open, releasing the umbrella to open through the crack in the door, then following it close behind she jumps out of the truck.
 

     Even though Martha had been in the Luthor Mansion many times before, she never failed to lose her breath upon entering it each time. The gothic structure that Lex calls home was almost like being in another world, opposite in every way from the humble farm that is her home. The entrance alone was big enough to sit her entire house into, and yet she wouldn't trade what she had for such luxury in a million years. Despite all the riches and treasures held between these walls, Martha knows the greatest riches in life do not dwell there. The heavy darkness of the cold stone walls smothering out any glimmer of light on even the brightest summer day, seeming to squash out any fledgling seed of happiness before it even has it's chance to take root.

     She makes her way towards Lex's study, the sheer magnificence of her surroundings paired with the quiet stillness of the hall is intimidating enough without it being combined with the weight of such a visit as the one she had come to pay. Her lone steps on the marble floor are soon met with more as a young man hurriedly brushes past Martha on his way down the hall, heading towards the outside.

     "Excuse me, can you please tell Mr. Luthor that I'm here?" Martha asks, familiar with the routine of needing to be announced in the Luthor house.

     The man is startled, seeming to have been caught in some sort of act. His hair and clothes are soaked from the rain, and he appears anxious to go right back into the storm.

     "I...I don't work here. I don't work for Mr. Luthor," the man stammers, taking his leave before Martha even has time to respond.

     Unsure of what to think or say she watches him flee from the house. She turns back towards the hall, not seeing another soul to speak with she calls out "Hello?" her voice carrying down the long corridor.

     It's no use. She must go against her raising, and enter the room unannounced.

     The gentle turn of the handle and creak off the door seem to surprise Lex who is seated at his desk. He raises his head, seeing Martha standing in the doorway.

     "Mrs. Kent," he says, sliding a manilla folder over the document he was reading.

     "Lex," she begins softly, moving closer towards him, handling the situation as delicately as she could.

     "I already know," he says calmly clipping her words, rising up from his desk.

     His blunt confession unsettles her, leaving her unsure how it was he came by this information so quickly.

     Moving towards the bar to prepare himself a night cap, he asks, "Can I get you something?"

     She promptly answers with a quick shake of her head. She never indulged in alcohol, and his use of it as a deterrent from the current subject matter disappointed her.

     As her eyes follow him towards the fire, she detects a glimmer in his eyes she had never seen before. A hint of emotion that he seemed to want to fight against. He lifts his glass, hoping to drown the dozens of thoughts swirling through his head with a swig of brandy. The burning sting seeming to multiple the moisture already pooled in his eyes.

     "I'm so sorry," she says, searching his face for a reaction. "I just felt it was right for someone to tell you personally. I know you were very fond of her work,î Martha says, hoping somehow her words could penetrate the walls around him.

     Holding within her heart all the tender memories that Audrey had shared with her about Lex and their relationship together, Martha found it excruciating to watch him stand there emotionless knowing that the woman he had loved was dead. As he swigged his alcohol, it took every ounce of power in her tiny frame to not slap the glass out of his hand and shake him into the reality of the situation.

     Martha ached for all the pain Audrey had endured. All the memories she shared with Lex that were stolen from her as if they were nothing. She had lost everything she had to protect Lex. The fact that Lex could not feel that made it seem to Martha as though a large part of him had died, too. His father had left his heart beating, but stolen away everything it which it beat for. The beautiful girl who had breezed into his life changing it forever was taken too soon, succumbing to her fate alone in a field, not far from the castle she could never call her home.

     "We were all very lucky to have met her," Martha says, breathing the words she had thought for sometime about Audrey.

     Lex blinks against her words, knowing himself what he must have had with Audrey, yet his own mind was too crippled to recall it as he felt he should. All he had were the scattered memories. The few odd memories that seemed to appear in his mind out of nowhere, leaving him only full of more questions, longing to be able to relive it all again. For the slivers he did recall provided him with more moments of happiness that seemed to exist during those seven weeks that were stolen from him, outweighing all the moments of his life he lived before or since.

     The fact that he was unable to feel the full impact of the loss seemed to hurt him the most.

     Martha had come there longing to comfort. Hoping somehow to be needed by Lex, yet how much she wished Lex was like Clark, still willing to lean upon her for support and comfort, she knew Lex was cut from a different cloth. She had experience with men such as Lex, her husband was very much the same. Having to find his own way, only understanding the answers if they were found himself. Accepting that, she simply offers him her hand on his arm, the gesture impacting him greater than any words could.

     "As soon as the arrangements are made, I'll let you know when the service is," Martha says tenderly. "She didn't have any family to speak of, so Jonathan and I are taking care of everything," she says, striving to hide the worry she has about the costs involved.

     "I'll handle everything Mrs. Kent," he offers, keeping his eyes on the fire. "She was kind enough to share her work with me, It's only right that I take part in honoring her life."

     Every memory he had enter his mind from the moment Audrey came to Smallville filled in a piece of the puzzle that he had been fighting to solve for weeks. Although the image was not complete, he knew enough to fill in the blanks. Despite how Audrey refused him as he connected the pieces through her, his heart told him differently. She had striven to hide that final piece that would leave no doubt to their connection. Once he had seen it they both knew, and yet did not know how to go on. For living among broken pieces had left them both broken inside. It seemed that the cracks between them were large valleys, and they both were scared of what might be lying in darkness.

     So he had walked away, leaving her to stand alone, feeling himself more alone despite the fact that he had found the one he loved again. How much he wished he could still be standing on that hill beside her. How many things he would have said differently. All the things he should have done. In trying to respect her space, he took his leave, not knowing it would be the last chance he would have to tell her that he knew what she meant to him.

     Martha could see his mind working, his eyes beginning to show the signs of what he had endured. Although she wanted to be able to tell him the whole story of Audrey, fill in the pieces of his memory that were erased, she knew the knowledge that Audrey entrusted her with could not be shared with Lex. She knew there was too much at stake for the future of her son, the words on the back of the painting still fresh in her mind.

     Torn over her desire to mother Lex, and her duty to protect her son, she felt all she could do was give Lex a sliver of Audrey, hoping if fate had intended that he get back his memory of her, it also meant that he and Clark were destined to end up as enemies as well. Martha believed in fate, and knew whatever she did there tonight could not change the will of destiny.

     "Lex, I want to give you something," Martha begins, sliding her hand down into her pocket.

     He turns towards her, intrigued at the possibility of what is lingering in his mind could be the item of which she is referring.

     "I thought you might like to have something that belonged to her," Martha says, noticing instantly the interest in his eyes.

     She slips out a small white box out of her pocket, removing the lid gently. The dancing flames in the fireplace illuminate the yellow gold chain that lies in the box. Martha delicately picks up the necklace, allowing it to coil softly into the palm of her hand.

     Lex cannot hide what he is feeling within. The flood of emotions surging through him is evident on his face, despite how much he pursed his lips to fight them.

     He reaches over, taking the delicate chain into his hand. He raises his arm, bringing up the necklace in front of his gaze, allowing the charm on it to spin in the air before him.

     "Why this piece?" he asks curiously, not removing his eyes from the charm looped upon the chain.

     "I don't know, really. It just sort of spoke to me," Martha says, honestly not knowing why she felt so compelled to give the necklace to Lex.

     "You have impeccable taste, Mrs. Kent," he says, bringing the necklace down, clasping his hand around it. He turns his head to face her, adding "and amazing intuition."

     Martha stands puzzled with uncertainty. Not sure what the relevance of that particular piece of jewelry meant, but seeing it undeniably was priceless to Lex.

     Still not fully able to believe that which he saw just hours before hanging around Audrey's neck was the proof he was looking for, Lex had to glance down at the piece in his palm, he had to be sure. The undeniable presence of the necklace leaving no doubt in his mind about what Audrey meant to him. For all the memories could be taken, but the truth would always find a way to be told.

     Lifting his eyes to meet Martha's he offers the truth to her.

     "It was my mother's."
 
 

******
 
 

     Alone again in the mansion, Lex walks towards the glass shelves in his study, stopping in front of the small framed painting Audrey gave to him. In a simple motion, he gently drapes the chain over the art, allowing his finger to caress the glass as he pulls his hand away.

     He often showered his conquests with diamonds, jewelry that's valuable in every way but sentimentally. Yet, one, only one had touched him enough for him to share the one priceless piece of jewelry he owned. A simple chain with a tiny rose charm that barely was worth what he spent on a night out was the biggest gift he had ever given. For it symbolized him giving her his heart.

     As a child he often played with the necklace, looping it around his finger, holding the charm as he laid in his motherís arms. Just before she died, she slid it off her neck and laid it in his hands, clasping it closed with her fragile fingers. "One day when you fall in love you can give this to your beloved. The woman who wears this will never want for roses, for she will always have this one close to her heart, and you there to tend to it," she whispered upon his innocent ears.

     Back at his desk, he opens back up the file which he concealed when Martha came in. His finger glides down the document, stopping above the information he had been seeking. He did not think he had any more to lose. He lost his mother, Audrey, so many priceless memories, but now it seemed he had lost much more. He had lost his future.

     Audrey's medical records laid before him, obtained in the usual Luthor fashion. Lex was certain that when he regained his memory, that his past with Audrey would fit together like a puzzle, and laying before him was the final, big piece; the presumptive cause of Audrey's death. She had died from a hemorrhage caused by eclampsia.

      The papers rained down to the ground. Lex, stunned, was forced to grab on to his desk to keep from falling. Audrey had been pregnant. That's why she had been hiding from him, to protect her child. Their child. She had to protect it from Lionel, for she feared that Lionel would do the same to the child as he had to Lex.

      Lex hadn't lost his future, his father had stolen it from him. Lex imagines throwing the contents of his desk to the floor or smashing the furniture in the room. But, how would that help? How would that release the anger and frustration welling up inside him? He needed more.

      Lex knew that Lionel erased his memory to eradicate knowledge that he feared. That knowledge was the only weapon Lex could use to inflict the pain he needed to upon his father.

      Above all else, in whatever way possible, Lex had to get that knowledge back.
 
 

******
 

     Finally, the warm glow of the porch light welcomes Martha home. She thought it funny how, in times like this, the details become so vivid. She had grabbed the doorknob to her home so often, doing so was reflexive, an act she never thought about.  But, today, she couldn't help but appreciate the simplicity.

     As she entered through the porch door, she saw Clark waiting for her return at the kitchen table clutching a glass of cold milk.

     Setting down her purse on the counter, she goes to him, kissing him upon his head, comforting him with her touch.

     She pondered what words she should speak first. She knew he would have too many questions that she might not have answers to.  Death is such a difficult concept for an ordinary person to comprehend. The finality of it seeming almost difficult to grasp, and painful to try to.

      Martha ached at seeing her powerful son reduced to a defeated boy, his large frame slumped over, his head hanging down. She knew Clark Kent was not ordinary. For the hardest things for one to endure, went doubly so for him.

      "All of these things I can do, all of these powers, and I couldn't even save her," Clark says drawing in a deep breath.

      "There was nothing you could have done," she says, having to tell him that which she couldn't seem to grasp herself. "Nobody had done anything to her. What happened to her, was a completely natural thing which happens everyday. If she had been closer to the house, or if Jonathon had found her earlier something might have been done."

      "What are you saying?"

      "Clark, people are going to die. Eventually, ones you love.  We're fragile, and we can break. And although you can do all of the things you do, and you have all of the powers you have, you can't change that."

      "But, I'm not. I'm unbreakable," Clark tries desperately to grasp the issues. "I'm not human."

     "That's not true," she says, making sure he would hear her next words by grasping his hands in hers. "Your skin may be impenetrable, but Clark, your heart can feel the things that are most important. They call it heartache because that's what it is. An aching down inside that reminds us how precious life is, and how we should treasure each moment we are blessed to receive," she says, her tender eyes gazing into his.

     "This grief you have is because your heart is broken. Your human heart," she adds, holding his hand within hers against his beating heart. "I raised you to always listen to your heart, Clark. Today it may feel as though you will never feel anything but heartache, but I promise you there will be a day it with skip a beat with the joy of love."

      Clark spent the evening replaying his father carrying Audrey in from the field, her still body cradled in his arms. He remembered every feeling and every thought he had. He believed his father was the strongest person on earth. Now, he knew he was wrong. Although she hid it beneath a delicate exterior, he could see his mother possessed a strength equally as great.
 
 

********
 

      Clark fell asleep quickly on the couch, his discussion with his mother seeming to ease some of his pain, thus allowing him some much needed rest. The day had been a long one, and everyone knew the next ones ahead would be equally difficult. Martha made him up a bed in the living room, thinking it best that she tidy up his room, the room where Audrey last slept, of all of her private things before everything began to fall back to normal in the Kent house.

     Watching him sleep peacefully took one thing off of her list of worries. Carefully tucking the quilt around him, he repositions his head further into the down pillow. Leaning down she gently kisses him on the forehead, turning down the light as she leaves the room.

     Walking up the stairs her eyes catch the numerous pictures of her family in the frames that grace the walls. Their smiles reminding her of how precious life is. Looking into a picture of Clark, his wide smile beaming, she couldn't help but think how blessed she was to have found him. Her mind began to picture the walls of the Luthor mansion. There were no pictures in frames, no portraits of a family. So many countless priceless artifacts, but not a single picture showing Lex in a happier time. Not one image of Lex and Lionel together. Not even an early print of Lillian with her son. There was absolutely no evidence that a family ever existed there, and this sad realization made Martha's heart hurt.
 
 

******
 
 

     Jonathan's nasally snore seemed almost like a serenade as she quietly opened the door to her bedroom. It was comforting to hear that he was sleeping soundly.

     Moving towards the bed she could see his mud covered boots sitting there leaving their mark on her ivory rug. Any other night this action would land him on the opposite end of Martha's wrath, but this night she only saw it as one of the lovely signatures of the man she loves.

     She goes to his bedside, adjusting the sheet up around him. As he lays on his side snuggling the pillow that belongs to her, she feels a wave of emotion flow through her. How lucky she was to have this amazing and handsome man by her side.

     She leans down to kiss him, gently brushing her soft cheek against his rough stubble. As she rises back up, she tenderly strokes her hand through his dirty blonde hair. "I love you," she whispers upon sleeping ears.

     Leaving the room, she slides open her chest of drawers, taking out the painting Lex did in Belle Reve. She tucks it beneath her blouse, turning back to gaze upon her beloved once more, then softly closing the door behind her.

     Coming back down the hallway, she pauses in front of Clark's room. Unable to fight the urge to go in, she enters, switching on the bedside lamp. There on the table remained the elaborate bouquet of white roses Lex sent to Audrey, although now they seemed to display what Martha was feeling inside. Their once strong stems were now weak causing them to curl and bend. The beautiful blooms seemed to have lost their innocence, now brown and bruised. Her eyes move to the bed, seeing Audrey's nightgown neatly folded laying on the pillow. Martha's hand slides across the feminine satin gown, rubbing the tiny pearls and ribbon with her fingers. The gentle spirit who dwelled here briefly seemed to still be present in the room. Martha held her own arms against the chill, as she fought against the lump that was developing in the back of her throat.

      Martha slips down the stairs, careful not to wake Clark, she checks on him once more. All is peaceful for a moment, so she quietly slides out the back door.

      Clasping her hands between her knees, she takes a seat on the top step of the porch still wet from the earlier storm. Aiming her gaze towards the stars, she tries to find comfort in the endless possibilities of the universe. Comfort is hard to find there, though. The only thought that comforts her mind is that her son is sleeping peacefully on the couch, and her husband is snoring in bed.

     Holding out the rolled painting that Audrey entrusted her with, Martha strikes a match against the wooden porch door, igniting a flicker of light in the darkness. Holding it to the heavy parchment paper, the piece is quickly engulfed in an orange glow of heat. As the piece is reduced to ash, the night breeze carries it away, scattering Lex's possible destiny to the wind. She hoped that doing so would give him an opportunity to forge a new path.

      Martha shuts her eyes allowing the crickets' symphony to consume her ears, and she gives in to the peacefulness of a Smallvile night. Her loved ones are safe. The house is quiet, and suddenly she realizes there is no one left for her to take care of. There was no one left to comfort or console. Finally able to take a moment for herself, she begins to feel the burden of her loss. What Audrey had meant to her could never be erased by a flickering flame. Audrey had paid the greatest compliment one could to a mother; she believed in Marthaís son. Hidden away from the eyes of Jonathan and Clark, she lets go of her tears, and grieves her lost friend.
 

The End.

(Please check back for an Epilogue to be posted soon.)

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